Not really a jaunt as such. Or at all. More a set of thoughts and musings on our experiences during the 2020 Coronavirus lockdown in the UK.

We started the lockdown in Switzerland so missed the first four days of the UK mandated ‘at home’. However, we’ve always kept a good store of basics in the house due to:

a. Hating supermarkets at the best of times.

b. Having very limited food shopping options in the village, and living about 30 mins drive away from the nearest major supermarket, making it inconvenient if we run out of basics.

c. Living in a rural area, and occasionally getting snowed in or cut off in other ways.

So we weren’t too worried about the food situation at home despite seeing pictures of supermarket shelves stripped bare and reading stories of panic buying. Added to this, we always set up an Ocado delivery to coincide with our return home from any holiday, so that we avoid having to re-engage with the real world a little longer. Little did I know, this time around, that the delivery slot booked two weeks previously would become one of the most sought after items in the country. But first we had to do battle with the website. First time of trying to update the order I was about 4,000th in a queue with an estimated 15 minute wait to access the site. No matter, I thought, I’ll come back later. Oh how naïve I was! Next time I was 200,000th in the queue and the site simply said, “Go away”, or words to that effect. Over the next few days Ocado seemed to get on top of things and two days before the order was due we were invited to make changes, waiting only a few minutes to get online. Adding items to the list for neighbours brought the total order to nearly £300, more than we have spent before for Christmas!

One thing that we didn’t have good stock of was flour. Ben makes a sourdough loaf each week and we buy 6kg bags of flour from Eyres, a local farm supplier. Having run the stocks down before we went away we were planning to buy more on our return but didn’t know if Eyres would still be open. As it was, we still had plenty of self-raising flour, so initially spent a week or so eating scone-like focaccia made with that. It went ok with soup or a loose hummus (anything sloppy) but we were glad to get 2.5kgs of wholemeal bread flour on the Ocado order. We would have bought more from them but were limited to two bags of flour per order. This was one of the weird things; which items were out of stock and which weren’t. Bread was freely available, flour, not so much. Similarly, frozen spinach was sold out, but fresh spinach available in abundance. In some cases, the substitutes had an air of Marie-Antoinette about them… No chicken? No problem, let them eat duck!

We’ve always meal planned, but for the first few weeks of lockdown this was taken to a level not seen before. Having an abundance of food in the house, much of it fresh, it felt criminal to let any of it go to waste, so old bread was turned into croutons for soup or salads; fruit and veg prioritised so that the softest stuff was eaten first, leaving butternut squash and spuds for later on; all fresh food that can be frozen was, and when I wrote out a meal plan based on all our supplies, I reckoned we could manage until the end of April on the stores we had. The indestructible rhubarb in the garden meant we could pull a few sticks every now and then to make compote for museli. It’s a small contribution to self-sufficiency but it felt good nonetheless. Depending on how long this all goes on there will be garlic, apples, plums and pears with very little effort.

In the beginning we plan meticulously to make sure we are getting a balanced diet with at least 5 portions of fruit and veg every day and eating healthy meals. As the weeks wear on, we tire of this and Ben starts to make some favourite treats (deep fried chicken strips, pistachio cookies and schnitzel with fries). Its feels as good to eat some fat and sugar as it does to eat healthily. Similarly we work our way through the alcohol stores, feeling virtuous for clearing out old bottles of spirits rather than buying new!

In other areas, we happened to have a bottle of isopropanol alcohol lying around from who knows what DIY project, the perfect thing to swab down door handles, phones and any other random item that had come into contact with the outside world. Alongside this, a box of latex gloves, also for planned DIY projects. So, we were set for food and for hygiene. Now we needed something to occupy our time. Having lived in our house for over 10 years now (and having renovated it from scratch before we moved in), we had been mulling over redecorating the whole place for some time. Ben had bitten the bullet and started on the bathroom before we went away and, to get free delivery, had ordered the paint for the rest of the house at the same time. At no other point would we have weeks at home with no other commitments to take us away, so it seemed like the perfect time to embark on a full re-paint. God knows what we’re going to do in 10 years time when it all needs doing again!

All in all our life is strangely unaffected by it all. Ordinarily we work from home, so no real change there except clients are also working from home and things take just a little bit longer to sort out as decisions might need to go around a few people before being signed off.

As the weeks wear on, there are a few things which occur to me. Things I will miss about lockdown:

1. Not having to wear a bra. Ever. Nuff said.

2. The quiet in the Peak District. On Easter Weekend we cycle 40km around the area. We encounter about two cars on the A57 segment, which, under normal circumstances I wouldn’t even consider cycling on due to high speed traffic. It is an entirely selfish thing but we relish the freedom and peace.

Things I miss about pre-lockdown life:

1. Swimming. I am surprised by just how much I miss the pool. Even to the extent of considering rigging up an endless pool type contraption with an insanely expensive paddling pool from Costco and a bungy cord. I would have, except the paddling pools had all sold out. When we cycle up to Slippery stones one day, I cannot resist a quick dip and feel SO MUCH BETTER!

2. A glass of wine with mates. Zoom et al just don’t cut it. And when some of our besties are literally just across the road it seems ridiculous that we can’t sit, socially distant, in each others’ gardens and catch up over a beverage.

Things that annoy me about lockdown life:

1. I am still getting spots!! What the hell?!?! I haven’t worn makeup for a good six weeks and my diet is as healthy as it’s ever going to get, but still don’t have perfect skin. I give up!

One thing that seems to have swept the nation but which leaves us cold, is a Thursday night “Clap for Carers”. It’s not something we can get into, mainly because it feels entirely inadequate against what our NHS and care workers are dealing with. Decent pay, better working conditions and adequate PPE seem like more important priorities than a round of applause. And whilst we realise that those things can both happen side by side, it feels disingenuous when politicians, who previously clapped when voting down pay rises for nurses, are getting in on the applause:

Instead of doorstep virtue signalling, we make a few practical promises to ourselves to help the NHS and carers in a more tangible way. These include:

1. Never ever voting for the aforementioned Tories ever, ever. Really this should be an easy one, almost as simple as standing on our doorstep banging pots and pans.

2. Avoiding buying stuff from companies who don’t pay their fair share of tax, thus depriving public services of much needed revenue. Amazon is the stand-out offender on this score and it will be a real challenge not to contribute to their turnover, given how ubiquitous they have become (not to mention filppin’ convenient). But it’s something we feel strongly enough about to give it a go.

3. Avoiding buying stuff from companies who have behaved like shits during the crisis. This includes Tesco who took a Coronavirus tax break of £585m and then paid out dividends to shareholders of £635m. Similarly Wetherspoons, who laid off all bar staff when the lockdown began and Virgin Airlines who told staff to take unpaid holiday while seeking a bail out from the UK tax payer.

4. On a more positive note, we will continue to actively support those companies who have acted ethically during the crisis. Locally our butchers and hardware stores have been taking phone orders for collection and the veg shop has remained open with social distancing in place, meaning we have been able to avoid the horrific queues at supermarkets. Other companies deserving our funds include Fullers, who have given tenants a rental holiday, and Whitbread who are topping up staff wages to 100% from the government’s 80% furlough (similarly Timpsons, the cobblers and key cutters).

Back at home we add to the supplies by starting peas, courgettes and beetroot seedlings in the garden. We also dismantle the remnants of our hen run to make a mushroom growing platform (although spores are taking about 6 weeks to deliver so this will be a long term project!)

As things are cancelled (a theatre trip, Killers concert, weekend in the Lakes and open air opera in Verona to name a few) we discover new forms of entertainment. Zoom calls and an online escape room are interesting, but no substitute for the real thing.